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Monday, March 19, 2012

KBA Season Preview (2012)

#1 M. Sawyer Hoopers (Mario Sawyer)

Lottery Pick: Antoine "C'mooon Man" Williams
Sleeper Pick: Eric Rawls
Best Shooters: Antoine Williams and Keith Harris
Best Scorer: Derric Roberts
Best Rebounder: Eric Rawls
Most Likely to Violate League Anti-Profanity By-Law: Antoine Williams

What the Experts Have to Say: "We really like what this team has to offer. They have all the ingredients for a championship team. Antoine Williams and Keith Harris are zone busters and Derric Roberts has the ability to score at will. With Sawyer running the show, we expect a prolific offensive attack. The other thing that should not be overlooked is that this team is comprised of high-character guys. Don't expect them to have any suspensions or no-shows which often times can derail a championship season."

What the Haters Have to Say: "Man, these guys are some bums. The only reason they are ranked number one is because a lot of them played for Coach Maley's basketball team. What does he know? He couldn't even get his team out of the first round."

# 2 T-n-T (Trent Wigley)

Lottery Pick: Korey Williams
Sleeper Pick: Anthony "TO" Love
Best Shooter: Trent Wigley
Best Scorer: Korey Williams
Best Rebounder: Thomas Vinson
Most Likely to Complain about Every Call: Thomas Vinson

What the Experts Have to Say: "Mr. Wigley's selection of Korey Williams and Anthony Love will give T-n-T an athletic advantage over just about every team they will face this year. Watch out for Thomas Vinson to have a breakout season at the power forward spot after participating in an off-season plyometric training regimen which has him dunking a tennis ball on a semi-consistent basis in his PE leaders class."

What the Haters Have to Say: "Kolojo Okanlawon and Trent Wigley couldn't coexist in art class, how they going to be on the same team?

# 3 Team Elite

Lottery Pick: Latrell Atwood
Sleeper Pick: Patrick Owens
Best Shooter: Latrell Atwood
Best Scorer: Chris Pride
Best Rebounder: Saitu Wilford
Most Likely to Be Late to First Game: Dre Weathersby

What the Experts Have to Say: "You can't go wrong when you have Latrell Atwood at the point. This team will lead the league in three pointers made and should shoot a fairly high percentage from the field."

What the Haters Have to Say: "Team Elite? More like Team WewontCompete. Maybe if they were playing against Canter Middle, but this is the big time now. This team has too many guns on their team to win. There won't be enough basketballs to go around."

#4 J. Webb Ballers

Lottery Pick: Saintario Mitchell
Sleeper Pick: Markus Mallet
Best Shooter: Jelani Sankey
Best Scorer: Remy Price
Best Rebounder: Markus Mallet
Most Likely to get a Tech for Dunking during Warm-Ups: Saintario Mitchell

What the Experts Have to Say: "Remy Price in the Second Round? That's like being set up on a blind date with Halle Berry. How in the world did Webb pull that off? This team is loaded with talent and could win it all if all the pieces fall into place. Expect this team to lead the league in highlite reel plays."

What the Haters Have to Say: "This team is weak. You know Remy and Santario are going to miss all the games because of AAU. Without them, it's over."

# 5 Big E's (Chianthony Lee)

Lottery Pick: Zack "the elevator" Clark
Sleeper Pick: Leo Blakemore
Best Shooter: Jeff Jones
Best Scorer: Chianthony Lee
Best Rebounder and Male Model: Kyle Begusa
Most Likely to Lock his opponent Down: Jo-Jo Hill

What the Experts Have to Say: "Leo Blakemore was the biggest sleeper in the entire draft. There is no reason for him not to be at least a second round pick. Zack Clark will lead the league in blocked shots and pre/post game dunks."

What the Haters Have to Say: "Chianthony Lee and Kyle Begusa are going to "Self-Make" their way to a below .500 record."

#6 Ten Trey (Josh Cleveland)

Lottery Pick: Nashid Puckett
Sleeper Pick: Ogunleye's Squared
Best Shooter: Xavier Edwards
Best Scorer: Nashid Puckett
Best Rebounder: George Jones
Best Haircut: Tie between George Jones and Josh Cleveland

What the Experts Have to Say: "You don't want to go soft to the hole against these guys because Ten Trey is loaded with shot blockers. While Josh Cleveland and George Jones get all of the credit, don't be suprised if the Ogunleye Brothers swat your stuff into the fourth row."

What the Haters Have to Say: "These guys simply don't have what it takes to make it through the long grind of the KBA season."

#7 Stars (Eric McCree)

Lottery Pick: Joell Davis
Sleeper Pick: Khensura Love El
Best Shooter: Joell Davis
Best Scorer: Joell Davis
Best Rebounder: Michael Dabney
Most likely dive for a Loose Ball: Eric McCree

What the Experts Have to Say: "McCree is young and inexperienced as a coach, but like Brad Stevens at Butler and Shaka Smart at VCU, he might have what it takes to build a KBA dynasty over the next four years at Kenwood."

What the Haters Have to Say: "I'm not even going to waste my breath on these guys."

# 8 3 Hunna (Dontae Richmond)

Lottery Pick: Terrance King
Sleeper Pick: Mister Mister
Best Shooter: Mister Mister
Best Scorer: Terrance King
Best Rebounder: Chiquita Bradley
Most Likely to get a Technical: Raynard Jones

What the Experts Have to Say: "Terrance King has the abilty to carry a team to victory almost single-handedly. Look for him to be named league MVP if he can lead team 3 Hunna to an above 5 Hunna record."

What the Haters Have to Say: "There's no way Coach Maley is going to sit by and watch Captain Richmond ditch his class again without any KBA consequences. I expect that a suspension is forthcoming which could leave this team in disarray."

#9 The Unexpected

Lottery Pick: Jovonne Barrett
Sleeper Pick: Bahati Kimondo
Best Shooter: Jovonne Barrett
Best Scorer: Toshaun Polk
Best Rebounder: Toshaun Polk
Most Likely to attempt a dunk even though he has no chance of making it: Marcus

What the Experts Have to Say: "Bahati Kimondo was a great pick-up. While all the other male chauveunists passed her up, Sykes was able to find gold late in the draft. Look for her to send a message to all the captains who made the mistake of not drafting BK."

What the Haters Have to Say: "Jovonne Barrett in the first round?"

#10 Double Trouble (Jusilya Scott)

Lottery Pick: Kristina Williams
Sleeper Pick: Gary Barker
Best Shooter: Kenny Hart
Best Scorer: Kristina Williams
Best Rebounder: Darell Irons
Most likely to complain about not getting the ball enough: Anthony Hollins

What the Experts Have to Say: "Kristina Williams. Enough Said."

What the Haters Have to Say: "Jovonne Barrett in the first round? Whoops wrong team."