Team Rhodes 34
Team Afure 15
Team Rhodes (1-2) looked like the New York Yankees playing against my seven-year-old cousin Timmy's little league team in the antithesis (Definition: Exact Opposite) of a hard fought battle against Team Afure (0-3). Nick Norals "derek jetered" his way to 17 points and 4 steals. Squirt Polk "a rodded" his will on the offensive glass, finishing with 11 rebounds to go along with seven points and a couple of fancy assists. Even Kier Smith was able to "mariano rivera" himself out of Coach Rhodes' doghouse and into the penthouse, contributing seven points. Team Rhodes team defense and above-average shooting were able to stake themselves to a 19 to 2 halftime lead, which allowed them to fool around for almost the entire second half (always fun). While they looked impressive, they did have one minor hiccup in the form of a Nick Norals missed dunk. The error put him two behind league leader, Cartier Brown, in dunk opportunities squandered (Synonym: Wasted).
I spent all Friday night and parts of Saturday trying to find the right words to describe the first half put together by Team Afure. While I wanted to give those who were unable to witness the debacle (Synonym: catastrophe) a true sense of what occurred, I also did not want to be too harsh. In what might be considered the "Understatement of all Understatements", I decided that the word I'd use to characterize (Synonym: describe) their performance would be poor. This poor offensive output led to a measly two points at halftime scored by Idont Remember. They were, due to some basketball tom-foolery (Loosely defined as messing around because we are up so much) by Team Rhodes, able to put together 13 second-half points. While this may not seem like much (cause it isn't), compared to what they did in half one, Team Afure looked liked a hybrid of the'06 Suns and '91 UNLV running rebels in the second half. Chaz Thrailikill and Markise Wilson finished with a donut apiece to pace Team Afure.
Vocabulary Building:
1. In what the author dubs as the "The Understatement of All Understatements", he uses the term poor to describe Team Afure's offensive output in the first half in their game against Team Rhodes. If you were the author, which of the following words would you use to provide a better description of Team Afure's performance?
A. Awful
B. Atrocious
C. Terrible
D. Appalling
E. Dreadful
F. Horrible
G. Horrific
H. Horrendous
I. Abysmal
J. All of the Above
The correct answer is J.
Explanation: Although none of these words are truly able to articulate how bad scoring 2 points in a half actually is, they all offer a much better depiction then than the term poor. Using the term poor in this situation is kind of like calling brain surgery routine.
Let's Do the Math:
2. Both Courtney Ealy and Nick Norals are averaging .33 missed dunks per game (MDPG). They are both trailing league leader in MDPG Cartier Brown, who is clanging the iron at a rate of 1 MDPG. Assuming that they have each played 3 games, have six games remaining, and Brown keeps up his current pace, how many missed dunks do Ealy and Norals need to tie Brown for the league lead by the end of the season? (Please round your answer to the nearest missed dunk)
A. 6 missed dunks
B. 7 missed dunks
C. 8 missed dunks
D. C'Mon Coach Maley, just write about the games
The correct answer is C.
Explanation:
After 3 games, at a pace of 1 MDPG, Cartier Brown currently has 3 missed dunks. After 3 games, at a rate of .33 MDPG, Ealy and Norals have 1 missed dunk. With six games remaining, with Brown maintaining his average, he will end up with 9 missed dunks. Therefore, Ealy and Norals would need 8 missed dunks over the course of the next 6 games to tie Brown.
Team Denzell Hargrove 45
Team Patrick Glostner 41
Captain Hargrove knew that he needed to find a way to give his team the confidence that they could upset the number one ranked and undefeated Team Glostner (3-1). Not only did Hargrove read the story of David vs. Goliath to his fellow Hargrovians, but he also conducted a showing of the movie Hoosiers late Thursday Night. The mandatory (Antonym: optional) team function was just the trick that Team Hargrove needed to pull off the upset. While Travis Mcbride got off to an uncharacteristically slow start (0 for the first half), unsung hero Phaelen Lewis (12 points) kept them in the game with his inside/outside skill set. Lewis and red-hot Red Washington (8 points) were able to hold off Team Glostner while McBride searched to find himself. An early second-half three symbolized that he found what he was looking for and triggered an offensive explosion by McBride, in which he coolly drained three after three to net himself 16 second-half points. Phaelen's three with 4:12 remaining gave Team Hargrove the lead for good. Captain Denzell struggled a bit today, leading me to believe that the "You should still be on time to class even when you have a sub" Gods may have been out to haunt him on this day.
It hurt Team Glostner that big man Kevin Swanson "did not even know my team was playing" (his words not mine) until late in the first half. While Patrick Glostner led his team admirably in Swanson's absence, not having a key contributor until 6:48 left in the first half, may have been just what Team Hargrove needed to pull the upset. Glostner showed off his versatility by finishing with a game-high 21 points, 12 rebounds, 3 assists, and 2 expletive (Synonym: swear) laced tirades (one at the referees and one at himself in attempt for self-motivation I presume). Korey Williams was Robin to Glostner's Batman, collecting 7 points and 7 assists.
Reading Comprehension:
3. After reading the last sentence in paragraph one in the Hargrove/Glostner game summary, which of the following hypothetical scenarios could have caused the author to write leading me to believe that the "You should still be on time to class even when you have a sub" Gods may have been out to haunt him on this day.
A. The author is trying to commend Hargrove for always being on time to class
B. The author does not know what he is talking about
C. The author and Hargrove have never met, and he is trying to find a way to get him on the blog
D. The author caught Hargrove in the halls after the tardy bell had rung, leading Hargrove to explain that he had a sub today so it's okay.
The Answer is D.
Explanation: It is obvious and does not need explanation.
A Mathematical Double-Double
4. Patrick Glostner has an "I score a basket" to "Celebration of Some Sort" (Ex. Fist pumps, crowd points, chest pounds, loud screams, and exaggerated gum chomps) ratio of 1:1. Chaz Thrailkill has an "I see Coach Maley" to "Asking for a Blog Shout-out" ratio of 3:1. If Glostner was to score 20 points on 10 for 10 shooting from the field, and Chaz was to see Coach Maley nine times in a day, what is the sum total of Glostner's "Celebrations of Some Sorts" and Thrailkill's "Asking for a Blog Shout-out"?
A. 10
B. 13
C. 20
D. 23
The correct answer is B.
Explanation:
With Glostner having an "I score a basket" to "Celebration of Some Sort" ratio of 1:1, after scoring 10 field goals, he will have celebrated 10 times. If Chaz saw Coach Maley 9 times, his "I see Coach Maley" to "Asking for a Blog Shout-Out" ratio of 3:1 would mean that he would have asked for a total of 3 blog shout-outs. 10 celebrations plus 3 asks for a blog shout-out would give us a grand total of 13.
Note: Be careful of the distracter answer 0f 23. The ACT likes to throw in these distracter answers which would be correct based on common mistakes that test-takers might make en route to their answers. In this case, a person might make the mistake that since Glostner scored 20 points, he had 20 celebrations. No, no, no my friend. The ratio says absolutely nothing about points, only baskets. In making this mistake, a person would arrive at an answer of 23 and think they were right, only to find out that they had been conned by those pranksters at the ACT once again.
Team Denzell Smith 40
Team Turean Conner 16
Team Denzell Smith spread the ball around to all parties and as a result, there were many key contributors to the victory. Elmer's glue guy Marques Hudson led the way with 10 points and 11 rebounds. Syid Young finished with ten points and five assists. Side Story: When Syid asked me after the game how many assists he had, I broke the news that I don't actually keep track of assists (only points) but that I just kind of make it up for blog's sake. He then asked how many I thought he had. Three or four I replied. Syid slyly then whispered so no one else could hear, "Make it Five." Thus, why he finished with ten points and five assists. Anyhow, a Cordarius Taylor 3 at the beginning of the second half, put to rest any Team Connor notion of a comeback. Demario Lofton, Keith Spencer, and Denzell Smith rounded out the scoring attack with 6, 6, and 5 respectively.
Team Connor was without Turean Connor and Brandon Webb due to a conflicting AAU game. Which is unfortunate because they probably could have gotten just as much basket-hanging and all things not defensive related at Kenwood as they probably were going to get where they were headed. Their contributions were missed dearly by their team as Team Connor was only able to muster up a total of 16 points. To make matters worse, Daniel Palm was knocked out of the game for a large portion of the first half with a bloody lip. This was unlucky for both Palm and the team for two reasons. First, without Palm, Team Connor did not have a legitimate scoring threat and offensive rebounder. Secondly, for Daniel, it was disheartening because it may put him out of the running for the "Mr Universe" competition that he planned on entering this May. Tough break Daniel. While Palm was able to come back in the game and contribute two superfluous (Synonym: unnecessary) rim grabs (wanted to show off his improved hops to the crowd), it was clear that something was not right after his no-look assist to Denzell Hargrove with 6:07 remaining. The problem with this was not with the execution of the pass, but more with the recipient. While Hargrove is certainly a threat to score at any time, Naismith made it real clear in the rule book, that those refereeing games can not actually score the ball, even if the pass was flawlessly executed (See section 4, paragraph 4, line 6). Again, another tough break Daniel. Also of note, Xavier O'Neal climbed his way to a tie with Marques Hudson for the league lead in free throws airballed with one.
Getting Analogous
5. Denzell Hargrove: Him calling a carrying violation on Denzell Smith::
A. Daniel Palm: Him telling someone to be quiet
B. Dimitri Baker: Him asking not to be called Imitri
C. Cash Jones: Him being named future commissioner of KBA
D. Xavier O'Neal: Him playing Denzell Smith in biopic of Smith's life
The Correct Answer is A.
Explanation:
To answer analogy questions, you must find the relationship that exists in what you are given. Then, you look for the answer that has the most similar relationship.
In the question above, the relationship is the irony of the situation. Hargrove, who is known to bend the carrying rule to the extreme when he himself plays, called a carrying violation on Denzell Smith when refereeing on Friday. Of all the answer choices, A has the most similar relationship because anyone who is familiar with Palm knows that he loves to talk people's ears off. Therefore, him telling someone to be quiet would be extremely ironic and most similar to the Hargrove/Smith situation out of all the answer choices.
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